where have i been???

i have this tendency of abandoning things and then getting scared to get back into them for periods of months at a time because thinking about them and how i’m not doing them stresses me out. and i really don’t want that to happen with my website because it makes me so so happy to design it and to write on here, not to mention it’s really good for me to get my thoughts out. but then i put all this unnecessary pressure on myself and get scared to post and overthink everything, which is so weird because it’s my website.

i’m especially having a problem publishing any of my tech-related articles i have in my drafts just because i convince myself i don’t know anything and i sound like an idiot and everyone will point and laugh etc etc etc. but i’m gonna get myself to suck it up and just share my thoughts. it’s a lot easier to post silly byler posts instead of my insights on the state of ai because why would anyone listen to a 19 year old girl?

i’m thinking back to an interaction i had at my favorite coffee shop (look at my coffee shop review series) when a very kind old man sat near me and looked over at my homework and noticed i was a cs major, after which we got into such an interesting conversation about the state of the field. he asked me if i had any book recs so he could learn more about AI because he’s so unfamiliar with it - and that really got me. it might be an obvious realization but it reminded me what i’m doing this for and that i do have insight and valuable thoughts to share with the world sometimes.

anyways as a general life update… what can i say? it’s getting cold here and for some reason i did not bring a single jacket, and with the sun setting at 6 now, i’m spending a lot of time bundled up in my room. midterms are piling up and i am stressed and my skin is crying, but overall, i’ve been happy. i like the falling leaves and the cold air and the sunsets have been so pretty here! i’m seeing my friends a lot and things seem to be falling into place besides the like 3 hours a week that i want to crawl into a hole and die. life is all about #balance.

this is a silly little post but i just made it to put out firmly into the world and the internet that this blog is not abandoned and i am happy posting here and i will keep on writing and coding and building. this is really the one thing i actually have motivation to pursue outside of my classes and i think that’s really cool.

i love october so so much and i love fall in new york it’s all smiles here and big things coming soon