makeup routine

i put my hair behind my face with my headband before beginning my skin prep. i begin with a pore-tightening AHA/BHA toner to balance my PH, followed by brightening ‘dew drops’ infused with niacinimide to even my skin tone and ensure my skin looks radiant under the makeup. i’ve learned i have what’s called cortisol face. i run my gua sha along my jaw and cheekbones just like the videos showed me to, making sure to move up and back so that my buccal fat and lymphatic buildup can be drained.

after covering my scars and imperfections in a substantial layer of alix earle-approved light radiating foundation, i sculpt my face with my liquid contour. i have a heart shaped face, so i need to place my product strategically to minimize my wide cheeks and sharpen my jawline. am i deer pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or fox pretty? the filter tells me i’m deer pretty and shows me where to place my blush. i have warm undertones and a low contrast face, which tells me i’m a light autumn, so my blush needs to be in that color scheme, otherwise i’ll walk around with blush blindness. i choose a terracotta shade so that i can look like a downtown girl. it’s november after all. i used to place my concealer right under my eyes in a triangle shape, but that’s 2016 makeup. it brings my eyes down and they need to be lifted so that i have a more positive canthal tilt. if you place it right next to your temples, it can even make you look like you got a face lift.

i drench my face in setting spray so that my makeup can remain flawless all day before powdering. if i go too easy, guys might think i’m just greasy and sweaty, too much and i’ll be a cake face, so i add just the right amount. i saw this tutorial for siren eyes. if you place just the right amount of eyeliner in just the right position, you can manipulate people with your captivating gaze. but my eyes are too wide and that much eyeliner wouldn’t match with my contrast level. i look up a doe eye tutorial. i run white eyeliner along my lower waterline to open them up even more and apply layer after layer of mascara. wait - do i have boneless lashes or spider lashes right now? let me check with the special filter so i can look at my lashes up close.

once i make sure each one is curled and coated perfectly, i add a little highlight to my inner corner to open up my eyes just the right amount without looking like one of those ‘nyx cottage cheese’ girls - i can’t be in the original. i forgot if i’m supposed to emphasize my cupid’s bow or cover it up with my lip liner. which one gives me the most facial harmony? there’s a filter to check that too. i open up the tiktok camera instead of the regular one on instinct. the app has already turned the beauty mode on and automatically applied a filter called ‘no filter slim - pure skin’. i find the small ‘x’ to remove it and my face instantly widens while my lips and eyes shrink. at least my skin looks clear - wait, i forgot to turn retouch off. oh, there they are again.

my foundation and concealer must have not had high enough coverage, or maybe one is water based and the other is oil based so they didn’t sit right on my skin. either way, i go back in for another layer. i still see the little marks along my cheeks. maybe if i try ‘lite foundation’ the ai can recognize which parts of my skin need to be optimized. but nothing seems to look right. maybe i’m just not doing my makeup right for my female archetype. one of my favorite influencers told me i should try to do my makeup like my celebrity doppelganger - oh, there’s a filter for that, too. i don’t really think i look like any of these women. i think i’ve been staring at my face too long. maybe i should just start over. i run a cotton pad with makeup remover along my face.. it feels like it’s even more red than before. i cleanse my face as gently as i can and pat it dry, not rub dry. then i put my hair behind my face with my headband before beginning my skin prep.